Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Teen World - The Four Seeds

Let me begin with a story.

Once upon a time,
There were 4 young seedlings and each was unique.
At an experiment, they were seperated into 2 groups of 2.
The first pair was sent into the deepest ends of the jungle and the second pair was sent into the botanical gardens in Singapore.
The first pair had to fight the other seeds and trees for sun, water and all that is needed for a plant to grow.
The second pair had the measured amounts of sun, water and minerals given to them instead.
From the first pair, the First Seed grew humble, strong and majestic tree standing tall for all to see.
The Second Seed however, reached similar heights by climbing over and blocking sun and water of others. He died long before the First Seed.
From the second pair, the Third Seed became a rare species. Groomed my the botanist of the garden, he reached his peak of his growth. Standing tall, bearing much fruit, breaking new grounds.
The Fourth Seed however, did not get that same result. With the same conditions as the Third Seed, he grew lazy with the treatment. He took the sun, water and minerials for granted. He did not strive to grow and ended up a "Failure". In the end, he was given up upon and was cut away.
This is the story of the Four Seeds.

There are many many teenagers out there who are managing and coping with life to the best they can. However, there are also many many tenagers out there crying for a way out. I am 18 years old and I am one of them. Maybe you are too.

The teen world is unique in its nature. It is different from a child's and different from an adults. It is a place of transition and has its own rules, traditions, values, music, slang, style and so on. In every school, clique and group, exists a distinct culture which makes the group different from others. This is the teen world we all know

One teenager quoted:
"The teen world is about being one up. The crazy world of one-upmanship is so validated on TV; there is the sense that this is the way it should be. In the teen world, verbal abuse dosen't exist as a real thing. When people put you down, as they are 'suppose to', if it bothers you, there is something wrong with you. The world is built on this one-up, one-down idea."

Do we all fall victim to verbal abuse in our teenage lives? Only recently, I wanted to initiate an idea and my friends told me it was "crap". That I shouldn't think of going about it the other way. And that it should be done "this way" instead.

I also wanted to take up a certain course but my father was against it. He said that I shouldn't take it up as there is no future for that.

Words and phrases like "useless", "waste of time", "don't be stupid", "childish", "grow up", "what are you, a retard?", "you suck!", "It won't work...", "stop dreaming", "your still young", "you don't understand" and many many more out there are said to teenagers every single day. Do any of these sound familiar at one point? Then you are not alone.

In the end, teenagers are humans. Teenagers are the result of children growing up. Teenagers represent what adults long to return to and want to treasure. Teenagers need Motivation and Confidence to grow into the "successful" adult that all adults around us want us to be. Motivation and Confidence is however a very sacred resource and most adults use these as tools of reward. If you have come home early on time without breaking curfew, does your parents acknowledge your behaviour? What if the opposite happens? It is such a wonder to adults how "kids these days" can go astray and participate in undesirable activities. But with the little support given by these adults, I wonder why they think such. Ultimately it goes around in a circle.

Motivation is like water and Confidence is like sun. If we are to see the fruits of our little Seeds, we need to water and sun the plant daily and carefully. Too much Motivation may result in sounding too naggy and will drown the plant. Too much Confidence may result in a proud behaviour of conciteness. Both these results are negative. But the risk of it happening is forever present. If water is not given and not present daily, it may affect the growth of the plant. Same with the sun. Motivation and Confidence must be given in moderation regularly. The key words are "moderation" and "regularly". Hard for adults to do? Yes. Thats why there are so little botanist out there. Neccessary for adults to do? Yes. Thats why raising a child is the toughest, hardest and longest project for a parent to undertake.

As teenagers, we too have to play our part. We have to strive for Sun and Water or we will not get any of it. The process of striving is the process of growing and learning. If we keep at it, like the First Seed, we will grow and reach our dreams. The teenage world is not so complicated after all. Its just mis-understood. It is up to us to make them understand not the other way round. Therefore I encourage you out there. Be whatever troubles your facing. Be whatever downfalls you meet. Be whatever relations you struggle with. Be whatever confidence lost. Be whatever motivation drained. Be whatever others said and did to you. YOU are the one who can stand up and be counted. YOU are the one who can decide to change. YOU are the one who can make that difference. Remember the best way to Change those around you is to Change yourself. You are NOT alone. You never will be alone. You are stronger then what others think because they don't know what your going through.

So stand up and keep your chin up as you fight the world. Soon others will be fighting you as you grow older. I told a friend, "But thats life." and she replied "Why must follow life?" This is true for most teens. Don't be afraid to go against the flow. Don't be afraid to stand and be counted. Because if you do this, you will feel a whole lot better inside.

Your Friend,
Jonathan Szeto

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